Weekend at Osama’s

osama_berniesI love conspiracy theories.  My favorite book is the Illuminatus! Trilogy.  UFOs, the Grassy Knoll, I’m there.  Of course, as a connoisseur of the form, I am most fond of those conspiracies that are actually plausible.  (The ones that actually happened are best of all.)

I’ve just run across a fantastic theory.

A lot of modern conspiracy theories often require the principals to be acting against their own self-interests for no discernible reason, or spend huge amounts of effort and treasure to do something that could be done much easier in a direct fashion.  This one just makes sense.  It explains the facts without resort to logic pretzels, and, in fact, makes the “official” explanation of events look like an implausible conspiracy theory by comparison.

Think of this:  The official explanation of the “war on terror” is that a six-foot tall expat Saudi millionaire built a group of highly trained fanatic terrorists and with them became the single greatest threat to American hegemony since the end of the Cold War, and continues to control things from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, where we’re never quite able to finish him off.

Think about that.  It sounds like the plot of a bad Bond film.

Consider the following possibility.  We haven’t been able to “get” Osama because, in some sense, he doesn’t really exist.  Or, more accuratly, that expat Saudi prince and his movement was co-oped to be a figurehead, a misdirection by the state sponsors who are functionally running the actual attacks.  An Islamic “beard” on covert ops that are waging indirect war against the US.  It’s scary because it is so frakking plausable.  Read this and tell yourself that the offical sotry-line doesn’t start sounding like a mimeographed Lyndon LaRouche pamphlet.  (Found via here.)

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